Steven and I have been together for 7 years. We met about a year before that. I was managing a band he was in at the time. We've been through so much together. We went through serious growing pains but whenever we were apart, all we ever did was try to get back to each other. Our friends make fun of us now about the times we were apart and how we were just missing each other the whole time. Our souls are definitely drawn together. There is something amazing about soulmates and soul contracts. If you're meant to go through something together, the universe will conspire to bring you back together to make that happen.
I think he was supposed to make me realize how much I wanted to be a mama. Something I wasn't so sure about earlier in our relationship. I watched my mom struggle as a young mom and I never wanted to go through that. I always said if I had a child I would want to be able to give them the best life and all the love they need. To be around to enjoy it and see them grow up. That was a picture I didn't really see coming together in my earlier adult years so I think I turned my "I'll only have a baby under these conditions" decision into a "I don't really wanna have kids" decision. Now looking back, I always wanted children, I was just trying to get used to the idea of being ok without them. Steven told me he wanted kids and a family from early on and I always said "I'm happy with just us" The last few years, our life got a lot more domestic. The more he talked about having a little one the more I started opening up to the idea too. Somewhere around the holidays 2016 I told him I wanted to have a baby. He was so excited! We weren't gonna start right away but just being open to it was different and exciting. The more I let myself think about it the more I fell in love with the idea.
On his birthday, February 6th 2017 He said he wanted to make a baby. So we did! That night! I got pregnant and from the second I found out about her I was in love! Im forever grateful to him for helping me choose love over fear.
About a month after that, I started bleeding. I was afraid I had lost her. I guess it was implantation bleeding but I didn't know. I was so sad thinking I had lost her. A week or so later, Steven told me we were gonna go up to the mountains to get our mind off things. He had his friend Carl come with us. We went to my favorite trail head but I wasn't really in the mood to hike so I went but kept trying to suggest we go to the lodge. After a while of walking, He told me to give Carl my camera so he could take a few photos of us. It was snowing and was beautiful that day. Steven started talking to me. Telling me how much he loved me. At first I just thought he was being sweet but he went on to say I was his best friend and he wanted to spend his life with me. Then he asked me to marry him! I said YES! He completely surprised me. I had know idea. It was such a beautiful day and proposal. A few days later I found out Lily was still in there, alive and well! Ill never forget that day and I'll always be glad our little girl was there too.
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